[sticky entry] Sticky: A Simple Test

Jan. 10th, 2012 11:36 am
Remember being in an humiliating situation... where someone is insulting you... you made a fool of yourself in front a lot of people... someone is telling you that you are all wrong...

Did you feel embarrassed... humiliated... did you feel bad?

If yes, then welcome to the club of the brainwashed!

Where we have been taught that other people's opinion is not only more important then our own feelings but more important then Reality itself!
 why Should my house not be burgled
While I am away.
Or for that matter while I am bound and gaged
Or even.murdered?
And once burgled, why
Should I, not be angry? Or just dead...

Celebrating THIS life
(Not holding out for the one in my head)

I sing
Alla hu allah hu allllllllla hu!

  you who have seen the tragedy of a mighty river
Dying up in the sands

You who have felt distress at the ending of an entire childless family
Info the greying of time

Have you never,
Moved by the untimely sight 
Of a mighty banyon tree, crown dismembered,
Roots exposed, trunk lying flat on the ground
Come in alignment
With the vast workings of the Rudra hand?

Warfare is but the warped expression of humanity's eternal
fasination to unbecome

To become eternal.
 Lightning itself is too slow 
To reach that place 

The place thought must evaporate into, to be reborn
As omnipresent as
The omnipresent air
Breathing itself in and 

;for those who would glory- desth must lose its novelty, and repulsion
 like any stray dog
I too will die in the streets.
Unloved unwanted
Totally self sufficient 
 you have to think so much
'coz you can't trust yourself.

You can't trust yourself 
'coz you don't feel good;
You need someone or something in order to feel good.

Won't you cut the guardian knot?
Invest energy in your feelings
That anger evolves to love
Boredom to joy

No need for anything else

You simply fly
Alighting where you please 
And moving away as required.
With no need to hold on
To the very things that seem to cause such problems 

 You were born as a prison. 
Complete with prisoner and jailor.
Recognize what I'm saying?

Something is constantly herding you, 
Proding you in this direction or that.
And something is always beating against the walls
Against this will which forever has you locked in.

Don't fool yourself 
Unless you invest significant time and energy
To recognizing this fact-
To recognizing that you are your own jailor,
That it is your own  energies that are directed against you
Masquerading as desires to be happy 
And socially acceptable 
That it is your own body which under the guise 
Of wanting to survive, and procreate,
Has stolen almost all the resources 
And keeps frittering them away

You will never be able to 
Feel free 
 Thought. All thought. Any thought.
Every thought, is <I> about </I> living. It is not living itself.
It is a story, obviously. A description.
NOT the event itself.

Are you at all bewildered then, at the perpetual discontent?
What good is a story, in which you are happy all the time?
 I don't understand it
People keep talking as if it's an objective universe.

Haven't you seen how different world is to you 
Who is a good mood
And you 
Who is a bad mood?

At all times
Nature responds to your wishes
And remember your fears are wishes to-
They are the possible futures
You believe in strongly enough 
To be reacting emotionally to already.

Never forget the different a good mood can make
And take this thought to its logical conclusion 
No matter how much hard work it takes
Your mother tongue is touch
But society has made you male or female,
So now you can't speak it naturally, normally automatically.
Your mother tongue is sight
But society has taught you vowels and consonants and gutteral stops. 
So now you can't look and understand unless like a computer you are given the correct keywords in the correct, inoffensive syntax.
Complexity can't be sustained except through exceptions. Through learnt separations between object and subject.
But this is why your mother tongue,
Is simplicity itself. 
 Heart sadness, is the only kind for me
Its the only kind that lets me transcend it.
Its the only kind that comes and then goes, leaving nothing behind but a clean emptiness
which quickly turns to joy

After experimentations with many other kinds of sadness
such as denial-of-sadness-sadness, and distract-myself-from-sadness-sadness
as well as i-dont-like-sadness-but-what-to-do-sadness dont really work for me-
those  bastard kinds of sadness have as their un-acknowledged father- fear

But Heart sadness. Oh i cant sing its praises enough!
Its father is fearlessness and its mother practicality aka Mz. Whatever--works.
Nothing more powerful. So often it takes with it, after it feels you have spent sufficient time with it
all those thoughts that invited it in the first place.
all those beliefs telling you that you are sad.
that you are right and it is necessary to be sad.

Kind of like drinking salt water to inducing vomiting
it comes out and takes everything else unpleasant with it!
 Nobody wants freedom.
what a strange realization to wake up to
and an obvious one.

We all want strings tied to ourselves
which we can then fight against and feel love towards
We call them relationships
and they are the stuff of containment.

we want there to be someone
who will get worried if we dont call 
putting pressure on us to conform

we want to be told how to be
'tis not something we put up with 
for the privilege of telling others how to be.
It is something we want for ourselves
deep within
because else,
we would not know who we are
or if we exist at all;
if nobody cares for us, the fear is
I would not be!

I have fooled you into this mindset, friend
Along with everybody including yourself 
You would not be anything in particular
but there is no way to stop existing.

 All along I thought I was this matter
Which any stick could come and break
But I never once wondered what matter itself was!

 clearly, at some point 
Something came out of nothing. 
Don't bother telling me it doesn't make sense, hell gravity
The idea that these things sitting there with no connection are pulling each to their self, makes no sense.
It is the way it is though. Believe it or not.

Clearly, at some point
Something came out of nothing.
Whether you believe in the big bang or 
The much more indisputable fact that you are now,
With no knowledge of what/if you were before you,in fact, were.

So now that we have established this obviousness 
Why dont you find some way of telling me
Why you think you are something
It's passing strange, that these things you think you are
Are constantly changing and yet you think
With each new thing
That behold! This thing I am!

It's much more probable, don't you think,
That you are the sentient space
Which has given birth to this illusion of thought 
And having given birth
Is pretending to be the illusory child.

Where is matter anyway? 
Have you found it outside your thoughts?

 Tis not the nature of life to 
Even for one ever lasting moment 
Be still
Tis a measure  of how anti life 
That humanity requires this
Sustained measure of focus.
A few minutes and im done

And it seems to me
If you are not
Then you are not looking at what is
But are only looking at this fixed idea in your head
Projected out into this non extant world

 Actually in this sense, it's like casteism.
The oppressors run around setting up committees-
And drawing salaries.
Appointing other savarnas to finding out why no resources
Have in reality gotten to the oppressed.

In this way
In this way and no other
We try and fix our unhappiness.
As the part that wants to "do something" about it,
Were not just stealing all the resources from the part that is unhappy!

All you have to do
Is quit.
And see - once you are out of the way
There will be no need for governing
Automatically your body will allocate energy to that which is sub-optimal
And joy will grow where before there was only darkness

 Basically, you experience yourself as a selecting
A thought, a set of sensory perceptions
In any given moment you are thus defined, in your own head.

But truth be told... You are not this focus
Narrow and bigoted

An entire stream running amock
Unable to rest long enough to identify 
To even stop, pause, or say "I"
Such is the experience in terms which you will understand
Of free uncensored will
 What seems like willful blindness
Is the beginning.
Picture a new born with its eyes still closed.

But when you open your eyes
If you do

Non of the opinions and requirements you look at life through
Will, obstructing your view,
Keep you with your fists up.. In fighting mode 
With anything at all

 We have access only to the stories we tell ourselves.
What kind of idiots are we, that these stories we tell ourselves so often make us unhappy!!?
It seems to me that we must be intrinsically unhappy to be so obdurate in selecting the stories that make us further unhappy, given the huge scope and incredible pallet to chose from; that this world is.

Indeed perhaps the only reason we are telling ourselves stories is that there is something making us uncomfortable when, even for half a moment, we stop. 
But what then? What if, we stop anyway.. If only to take stock of what it is that is in fact (and not in the fantasies we tell ourselves) making us uncomfortable, afraid, unhappy.
Will we not have, at the very least, stopped making ourselves further unhappy with this the end of telling ourselves unhappy stories?
 That which is  you- doesn't have to be worked.
It happens just by your will.
You don't have to, laboriously, use your left arm to pick up your right and then manipulate the fingers to turn the TV on
Hardly have you thought it and automatically your legs have taken you there and your hands suo-moto have done it whilst you think about what you want to watch.

So how can it be possible that something even more intrinsic then your body.. Something even more "yourself" then your physical heart (which can be cut away and another given without you ceasing to be yourself) be under someone else's control?
Is it really possible that your emotions depend upon someone? Upon something?
Or is it much more likely that you are lieing to yourself...
That, in fact, you don't need to do anything please anyone in order to be happy. That it's not possible for someone to make you feel anything whatsoever. That you have been brainwashed and that is the only reason you are not at this moment bursting with the joy you would naturally feel if you kept your emotions the way you yourself like then to be. 
This is the moment woman! Move away from lies and self deceit and start unpacking and dissolving anything within youraelf that tells you that you are both object and subject.. That you have to act upon yourself either directly or by using the world in order to "make yourself" be the way you want to be.
Such lies never made anyone happy

Bad faith

Apr. 11th, 2016 08:32 am
 I want you to recognize a few facts
I want you to recognize this bad faith

I want you to recognize within yourself
A failure to live rationally

I want you to see that in spite of being happy only when you feel happy,
You do everything to insure that your energies never move in that direction.
That you keep the thoughts in your mind always moving away from a recognition of emotional self-sufficiency 
That by thinking constantly of what a person or the world or you owe yourself
You manage to keep unhappiness going.
Recognize this. Recognize that bad faith you have with yourself
Which does not let you grow up and spend your time and energy back into your energies 
So that your emotions will reflect your own real obvious self justifying desire to be well.
To be joyous

Lable this unhappiness causing and all unhappiness causing within youraelf, including perhaps that entirely self-destroying unsurity of whether you want to be happy at all.
By definition you do. And whatever in you says otherwise by definition is bad faith 
Recognize and thus work free 

 Let tears come easily to my eyes
And laughter always be in my belly

Let helplessness and joy always be strumming softly 
Let me always be unable to ask why.

Let facts always be paramount
My irrevocable identity with the universe  too loud to permit other noises of defensible self worth

Let me think only when physical change requires
And never to make of myself an object that then needs.

Let my set of values never conflict; let there never be civil war
let me never be able to mistake 
What anybody thinks for what I am

Let me live and die if necessary
But more realistically then figuratively

Let me never move a single step
Never a moment pass
Let not an iota of energy sizzle but to glory all
that free will brings to pass



August 2016

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